Not Fast & Furious

  • I spend a great deal of time online and much of that time is spent moving large audio files around; either uploading to online storage or my e-commerce site, transferring effects and music to the various theatres that I work for and downloading material from other sources. I don't do much in the way of streaming audio and video, so an integrated phone, television and internet service is not for me. All I want, and all I've wanted for some time now, is a fast, reliable service that gives me a decent download speed and, more importantly, a fast upload speed. I signed up many years ago with a small ISP service called Be, which offered and generally delivered, a service twice as fast as I was getting from my then provider, British Telecom. I stayed with Be and the service remained excellent, even when they were swallowed up by the multi-national Telefónica, trading as 02 in the UK, but earlier this year, Telefónica sold its fixed-line broadband service to Sky, which brought about changes in the services being offered that were not to my liking, so I started to look elsewhere.
  • British Telecom's Infinity Fibre To The Cabinet (FTTC) service was rolling out in my area and I checked to see when it would be available to me. Despite the presence of one of the new big green FTTC boxes within spitting distance of our flat, I couldn't get any information about when I might be able to connect, until finally, after months of probing, I got an email telling me that the kerb-side cabinet to which my phone line is connected was just too small and therefore not economically viable for BT's systems-engineering off-shoot BT Openreach to convert to FTTC. Ever. Could I get my line re-routed to that tantalising green box just up the road? No. How about if I got a new phone number? Then could I get Infinity? No.
  • So, my only other fibre option was from Virgin Media. Not quite so enticing, as the upload speeds were lower and despite the statement of unlimited downloads, speed throttling is used to regulate users who download or upload large amounts of data, which of course is exactly what I do, all the time. But it's my only option and the nice people at Virgin have been shoving leaflets through our letterbox, urging us to sign up and stating that we could be online in just seven days. So I bit the bullet and signed up on-line. I got an installation date: OK, it was two weeks away, but that was fine. Two days before the installation date I got a text, telling me to get ready for the lightning fast service. Then I got a phone call telling me that the pipework through which they had to run the cable was blocked and they'd take some time to clear it, so I got a new installation date: OK, it was now a month after I'd joined up, but that was sort-of fine.
  • Two days before the due installation date, I got another phone call, saying that they'd found another little problem, but not to worry, they'd have it sorted in a couple of days.
  • Weeks went by and nothing happened. I called Virgin Media and by dint of confusing their automatic voice-activated menuing system, I actually got to speak to a person, who eventually transferred me to another person who told me that the matter was with the engineering department who couldn't give me a date when the work might be done. Could they give me a vague idea? No. Just some sort of time frame? Weeks? Months? Years? No.
  • More weeks went by: the deadline for signing up with Sky or losing my internet connection loomed. I called again: same rigmarole, same response. We can't tell you anything.
  • Eventually, I used Twitter to vent my frustration: a Virgin Media Tweet-responder implored me to fill in an online form, which I duly did. It failed to submit, due to an unspecified error. I tried again, same result. Back to Twitter to express my frustration again, and again I was urged to fill in an online form, which again I did, with exactly the same result. My next rather angrier tweet was met with a response that suggested I should submit my problem via an email, which I promptly did. And I got an email response and, eventually, a phone call: a Virgin Media person told me that he had "taken ownership" of my problem and that he would sort things out. Within hours, he called back to tell me that the problem had been solved and I should now be able to get online. I pointed out that I don't have the cable installed yet, let alone the Super Hub, so connecting's going to a bit tricky. He says he'll get back to me, which he does, via email this time, to tell me that sorry, there's been a bit of mistake and that it's not my problem that's been solved, but someone else's. He'll check out my problem and get back to me. That was two weeks ago and I've heard nothing since then.
  • So between BT's indifference and Virgin Media's incompetence, I'm screwed as far as a fibre connection is concerned. The UK is currently 18th in the connection speed league tables of countries with internet connectivity, behind Latvia, Romania, the Czech Republic and Belgium, amongst other, and this despite vast subsidies being paid to BT to ensure roll-out of fibre-based systems country-wide. MPs are concerned at the slow pace and patchy nature of the high-speed roll-out and the government worries that we're falling behind in the technology stakes. Is it any wonder with a level of service this poor from two of the major suppliers?
  • Eventually, in response to this blog and to a Twitter campaign, I finally got a call telling me that all would be well and that there was a new date for connection. I came home the same day to see a Virgin Media van outside the flat and tapped on the window to ask the hap inside if he’d been surveying the site for the installation and he said he had. I invited him in so that he could make notes as to where I wanted the modem to be and we checked the outside of the flat. He discovered that there was already a cable to the outside of the flat from a defunct cable TV installation many years ago and that the three month delay had been entirely unnecessary. Had there been a home visit from an installation engineer, then I might well have been a bit less fed up.
  • All is now up and running, although the installation engineer arrived four hours early with the wrong information, but despite having to dash home from work and placate my wife who’d been in the bath when he turned up, I was just so grateful to have a working system again.